We spend six months looking forward to a holiday, two weeks stressing about packing, and the first three days wondering whether we left the iron on 🤦‍♀️

Summer is supposed to be relaxing.

The photos certainly suggest that. Smiling families, beautiful sunsets, cocktails by the pool and not a care in the world.

Yet, for many people, the reality is different.

The lead-up to a holiday can feel overwhelming, the travelling itself can be stressful, and even once you've arrived, your brain doesn't always receive the memo that it's finally time to relax.

If you've ever found yourself lying awake in a lovely hotel room worrying about work, feeling anxious about flying, or secretly counting down the days until you're back in your own bed with your favourite mug and your normal routine, you're certainly not alone.

Let's talk about the holiday anxiety that nobody seems to mention.

The Pressure to Have the Perfect Time

Holidays are expensive.

Whether it's a weekend in the Lake District or two weeks abroad, most of us invest a lot of time, money and expectation into our time away.

That creates pressure.

We tell ourselves that we must enjoy every moment because we've worked hard for it. We must relax. We must make wonderful memories. We must return feeling refreshed and rejuvenated.

Unfortunately, the human brain doesn't work like an on/off switch.

You can't spend eleven months running at full speed and then expect your nervous system to instantly transform into a picture of serenity simply because you've put your passport in a different pocket.

Sometimes it takes several days for our minds and bodies to catch up.

And sometimes, that's perfectly okay.

Fear of Flying Is More Common Than You Think

One of the most common issues people seek help with at this time of year is a fear of flying.

People often feel embarrassed about it, especially if they've flown many times before or if other members of the family don't understand why it's such a big deal.

But anxiety isn't logical. If it were, none of us would spend twenty minutes convincing ourselves that the unopened email in our inbox probably isn't a disaster.

Flying anxiety can stem from many things:

  • A fear of losing control
  • Claustrophobia
  • Health anxiety
  • Previous difficult experiences
  • General anxiety that attaches itself to flying

The good news is that these fears are highly treatable. Hypnotherapy can help people feel calmer and more confident, while EMDR can also work really well if there is a traumatic experience linked to the fear.

Many people who once avoided flying altogether now travel comfortably and confidently.

When Routine Disappears, Anxiety Can Increase

Our brains like familiarity.

Routines provide a sense of safety and predictability, even if we occasionally complain about them.

Then along comes a holiday and suddenly:

  • You're sleeping in a different bed.
  • Eating at different times.
  • Navigating unfamiliar places.
  • Surrounded by more people than usual.
  • Spending every waking moment with family members you normally see for a few hours a day.

Lovely... and occasionally exhausting.

For people who already experience anxiety, these changes can temporarily increase feelings of stress or overwhelm.

It doesn't mean you're ungrateful or doing holidays wrong. It simply means your nervous system is adjusting.

Body Confidence and Summer Pressures

Summer can also bring worries about appearance and body image.

Social media presents endless images of perfect holidays and seemingly perfect bodies, while many people feel anxious about wearing shorts, swimwear or lighter clothing.

The truth is that most people are far more concerned about themselves than they are about anyone else.

Nobody on the beach is conducting a formal assessment of your thighs.

They're probably wondering whether they remembered to put sun cream on the back of their neck or where the nearest ice cream van is.

Being comfortable in your own skin is far more important than meeting impossible standards created by carefully filtered photographs.

Giving Yourself Permission to Relax Your Expectations

Perhaps the biggest shift comes when we stop expecting perfection.

A good holiday doesn't have to be flawless.

The children might (ha ha definitely will) argue.

You might miss a train.

You might get sunburnt in that one mysterious spot you've somehow missed with factor 50.

You might even spend an entire afternoon doing absolutely nothing at all.

None of these things mean the holiday has failed.

Sometimes the most meaningful moments are the unplanned ones. The lazy breakfasts, the silly conversations, the unexpected discoveries and the simple opportunity to step away from everyday life for a little while.

How Therapy Can Help

If anxiety is preventing you from enjoying holidays, travelling, or making memories with the people you love, it doesn't have to stay that way.

Whether it's a fear of flying, health anxiety, social anxiety, panic attacks or unresolved experiences from the past, effective therapies such as hypnotherapy and EMDR can help you feel calmer, more confident and more in control.

And if your biggest worry this summer really is whether you've left the iron on, perhaps take a photograph before you leave.

Technology may not solve every problem, but it can occasionally save us from spending the first three days in Italy mentally paying off the electricity bill because we left appliances switched on.

Wishing you a summer that's maybe not perfect, but perfectly enjoyable all the same.

Sally